So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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