You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
