i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
