Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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