i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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