I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
