Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
