just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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