I smell stomach acid.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
