I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
