just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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