I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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