I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
