Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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