I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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