We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
