it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
