think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
