Whod you bang
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
