We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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