Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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