he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize