mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
