just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
