Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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