someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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