please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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