We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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