I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
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I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
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GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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