there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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