Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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