therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
