I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think my moral compass just broke
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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