fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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