One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
