Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
