He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
