I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
