Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
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just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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