your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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