Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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