Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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