if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
