foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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