There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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