Banned from zoo.
Again?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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