he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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