sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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