Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
