I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
