oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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