i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
