Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I pour the whiskey from now on
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
