You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
