dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
