Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
