i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
