Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
